"O ye sinners. Repent for the day of the Lord draws near.
You that have been carrying chukuli inside exam hall. Repent now oo.
You that has converted ebelebo tree into your church parish where you conduct deliverance service for hall 2 girls. Repent oo.
You that always target your roommates pot of soup and pretend as if you are sleeping so that you can steal it when he goes out. Repent oo.
You that always form hulk hogan and pull your shirt to fight over everything. Repent oo"
These words the flyover preacher said in his early morning cry that woke us up.
While still in our sleepy state, a knock interrupted and our next door neighbors' voice rang out.
"Bros abeg una fit borrow me una hotplate?"
"Hotplate ke! At 4am in the morning. All our hotplate wire don cut"
I said.
In hope that he would catch the drift and leave us in peace.
"Oya bring one. I go fix am" He said.
A growing tone of desperation seeping into his voice.
Apparently he had forgotten about the decaying state of his egusi soup and had forgotten to warm it the previous night.
"Brosi. Go check Utility. E be like say we leave am for dere"
Timi said in a sharp tone of anger.
For he had not slept early the previous night.
Poor 100 level bloke who was still on a mission to shower hall 2 girls with the gifts of love and Mat Ice.
Within two hours, we awakened fully.
Taking our buckets downstairs to get water for bath,
We got the shock of the week.
Water had finished.
Cries of "PORTER ooo" rang out at that point.
Sarcastic shouts of "epa Oshodin oo" filled the air from the block D boys.
A rising chant of "Make we de go ooo. Make we dey go" began to rise from the impatient block B boys.
Anxious boys looking for every means of entering the girls hostel in the morning time.
Apparently they wanted to view the HD version of bathing hall 2 girls.
A sight which they had been viewing in 3g version from the third floor of their block.
With the shouts of "Make we dey go oo" gaining momentum,
Shirtless gym boys gathered around with their buckets and sticks.
Show offs ready to impress 100 level girls with their newly acquired 5 and 6 packs.
Godbless, the PRO, started the aluta anthem that moment.
Backed up by his able Director of Welfare, who shared the cozy excos room together with him.
"Solidarity for eeehhvaaa. Solidarity for eeehhvaaa.
Solidarity for eehva
We shall always fight for our rights. SING IT"
Like a bunch of disgruntled NLC workers invigorated by the beats of Young John the wicked producer,
We chanted the song in unison for three times.
"Greatest Uniben students!" Godbless shouted like a sex starved man trying to explain to the judge, the reason why his marriage should be dissolved.
"GREAT"
We shouted back in reply.
"Articulate Uniben students!"
He shouted again with increased vigor.
"GREAT"
We replied once again. Our tempers and 'ginger' rising with each passing second.
"Of the greatest GBO GBO"
Godbless shouted.
Raising his fists to elicit more support like Nnamdi Kanu to Ipob supporters in the courts.
"GBO GBO"
We chanted back.
Our voices sounding like a pack of enraged bull dogs who just sighted a robber jumping into the compound of their master.
"Greatest GBA GBA"
Godbless shouted again while smiling.
Obviously enjoying the maddening response which he had gotten so far.
"GBA GBA"
We shouted in return.
Our combined voices sounding like an enraged banging on the door by a angry armed robber who time is wasting.
"Make we dey go oo. Make we dey go"
Godbless started to sing as he led the already filled crowd, towards Hall 2.
The target was Chinelo, the SUG president.
The location-Block C, Room 202.
As we entered Hall 2.
Each party of protesters got into business.
The sons of Hermes, the Greek messenger god of theft, started their mission.
Stealing laptops and even pota of soup from the female rooms nearby.
The sons of Aphorodite, the Greek goddess of love, started honing their craft then.
Lustily gazing at the female students who were still in their night gowns and shorts.
The sons of Ares, the Greek god of war, started performing their fathers handiwork.
Rampaging and breaking everything in sight.
Hurling insults to all girls in sight,
While being gingered to hurl more anytime the girls replied fire with fire.
"Chinelo nor dey house"
The boys leading the charge said after inquiring or her presence from Geraldine her assistant.
"Eh eh. Oya make we go see dean na for students affairs"
Another boy, holding a broken bucket, opined.
Leading the way outside the girls hostel.
Like a group of Nigerians crossing the Sahara desert in a bid to reaching Libya,
The crowd began its trek to the students Affairs.
Carrying sticks, broken bottles and empty buckets were the daring boys wearing only boxers and singlets.
Accompanying the group were some crazy hall 2 girls who had decided to have a taste of the struggle.
To be continued in later posts.
#BASHORUN
