So I continue this jolly tale from where we left off at the Tuck shop incident
Like Flash in a bid to save the world,
I started my race down to the SS1 block
I started my race down to the SS1 block
For I needed to tell my friend Osfeam of what I saw.
"You come here"
These words Mr Idowu shouted as he pointed to me.
Brandishing his dongoyaro *egba*(cane) in his left hand and adjusting his spectacles with his right.
These words Mr Idowu shouted as he pointed to me.
Brandishing his dongoyaro *egba*(cane) in his left hand and adjusting his spectacles with his right.
I knew I was in trouble then.
For Mr Idowu never called any student over for a leisure talk without tears accompanying the student back.
For Mr Idowu never called any student over for a leisure talk without tears accompanying the student back.
Augustine, Biola Adekanmi, Owolabi Dammy were all kneeling down in front of the staff room.
Fellow classmates, who I knew were going to testify of the efficacy of the whip that day.
Fellow classmates, who I knew were going to testify of the efficacy of the whip that day.
"Just answer Yes or No to my question. If I hear you say another word, Ti e ba e o" Mr Idowu said.
"Yes sir I replied.
My mind already concocting any lie that could be used in all situations since I did not have any clue to the question he intended to ask.
My mind already concocting any lie that could be used in all situations since I did not have any clue to the question he intended to ask.
"Alright. Did you ever see Dammy here going to the town through the bush"
Mr Idowu asked.
Flexing his cane while he awaited my reply.
Mr Idowu asked.
Flexing his cane while he awaited my reply.
"Yayyyy".
My heart shouted.
My heart shouted.
God had remembered me today
Payback season had indeed arrived.
Payback season had indeed arrived.
For Dammy never picked me anytime we wanted to play ball on the school field.
Poor lad never considered that maybe I was the next Ibiyemi Shola, who dazzles with dribbling skills or Kenny Bello, whose knack for finding the net was unrivaled.
Worse still for Dammy.
He had made fun of me when I came into the dinnig to eat my Tuesday fufu and meat.
For I had forgotten that I had already eaten Moses's Monday rice and beans and was expected to give up my meal in a trade.
For I had forgotten that I had already eaten Moses's Monday rice and beans and was expected to give up my meal in a trade.
"Yes sir. I saw him day before yesterday sir. He was even eating beske Iya Oche when I saw him"
These words I said as I secretly made the 'oobbbyyyee' gesture to Dammy
These words I said as I secretly made the 'oobbbyyyee' gesture to Dammy
.
"Eh eh! Augustine nko?"
Mr Idowu inquired further while he momentarily greeted Mrs Osobu who was on her way to beat her erring SS1b English students.
Mr Idowu inquired further while he momentarily greeted Mrs Osobu who was on her way to beat her erring SS1b English students.
Augustine too was not my padi at all.
For he had this manner of carefully making one feel terrible while one spoke.
For he had this manner of carefully making one feel terrible while one spoke.
Once, as I was speaking to him, he kept saying "Ton" "Ton" "Ton".
When I inquired the reason behind the beeping tone, he shouted GBOAAHHH" as people around erupted in laughter.
When I inquired the reason behind the beeping tone, he shouted GBOAAHHH" as people around erupted in laughter.
Later did I come to realize that he was intoning that my talk was boring on a magnitudnal scale.
Well.
My turn for "Ton" "Ton" "Ton" had come.
And the tone of my "GBOAAHHH" would come in form of a lashes to his backside and his resulting cries.
And the tone of my "GBOAAHHH" would come in form of a lashes to his backside and his resulting cries.
"Yes sir. Augustine too went into town too. He was even boasting that he played game 'inside inside' town while he hid from Mr Ojurongbe's car"
"Really! You don't mean it."
Mr Idowu said as a smile began to form on my face.
Mr Idowu said as a smile began to form on my face.
"Oya! You. Come and kneel down with them because I saw you in town on Saturday too"
He said.
Twirling his cane menacingly with his sly smile replaced by with a visibly annoyed look.
Twirling his cane menacingly with his sly smile replaced by with a visibly annoyed look.
Shocked gripped me at that moment.
Despair clung to my heart like a wailing child who clings to his mother who intends to go out without carrying him along.
I wore no boxers (inner shorts) on that day,
For rain had beaten the only one I had washed the previous day.
For rain had beaten the only one I had washed the previous day.
"Sirrrr... eeeeehhh. Ori mi ooo. I am not feeling fine sir and I am just coming from the sick bay"
I said.
Desperately stringing all manner of lies that would save me from this 'never to be forgotten in a while' ass whooping that was staring me in the face.
Desperately stringing all manner of lies that would save me from this 'never to be forgotten in a while' ass whooping that was staring me in the face.
"Okay. You are not feeling well abi?"
"Ye"
"I am not asking you a question because we will both go to the sick bay now and if Dr Yusuf tells me that you have not been there today, or I cannot see your card, egba e ma di double (Your cane will be doubled)" said Mr Idowu as he jumped down and started stomping towards the sick bay.
"No sir. It is not today I went sir. It was three days ago that I went sir. I still have the sachet of paracetamol in my locker sir"
I shouted out in a bid to stop him.
For I remembered that I had visited the sick bay on the new date I mentioned.
A visit to enjoy the Vitamin C red tablet while I feigned the sickness of sore throat.
A visit to enjoy the Vitamin C red tablet while I feigned the sickness of sore throat.
"You this boy. Oya go and kneel down there"
Mr Idowu shouted.
Punctuating every syllable with a whirling of his long cane that landed on my back and developed welts immediately.
Mr Idowu shouted.
Punctuating every syllable with a whirling of his long cane that landed on my back and developed welts immediately.
Like a village headmaster whose favorite student impregnated a local girl,
Mr Idowu whipped me with no mercy.
Mr Idowu whipped me with no mercy.
Wai! Wai!
The sound of the cane making love to my ready back.
The sound of the cane making love to my ready back.
Yee! Yee! Moku ooo!
The sounds of my mouth registering the deep discomfort I was in.
The sounds of my mouth registering the deep discomfort I was in.
Like salt on a fresh wound,
Mr Ojurongbe and Mrs Ajani, my maths teacher came around.
Mr Ojurongbe and Mrs Ajani, my maths teacher came around.
You this kosi again. You that you were not around for Saturday inspection. Even look at how your uniform is dirty"
Mr Ojurongbe said.
For he was the house master of Osun house (Yellow house).
For he was the house master of Osun house (Yellow house).
"Eh eh. Iwo na ti di stabooo (You too have become an invincible man)"
Mr Idowu said.
Intensifying his beating like a mad bull who just sighted a red cloth.
Mr Idowu said.
Intensifying his beating like a mad bull who just sighted a red cloth.
For he truly detested students who ran away from working in their hostels.
A fact that ensured that his Niger (blue) house students, never left their hostels during cleaning.
A fact that ensured that his Niger (blue) house students, never left their hostels during cleaning.
"This lazy boy that always sleeps in my class. You will come and meet me in class later and you will explain how you can maneuver your way through the bushes into town without being able to maneuver your way into getting a 'C' in my subject. Olodo iya"
Mrs Ajani said while she took leave for our class.
Mrs Ajani said while she took leave for our class.
"Ah ahh. You are still failing in mathematics too. Stabooo, oloorun (a stinker) and olodo (perpetual failure). I will deliver you today"
These words Mr Idowu said as his vigor in whipping increased like a man injected with a full dosage of red bull.
These words Mr Idowu said as his vigor in whipping increased like a man injected with a full dosage of red bull.
Not to draw the talk beyond its borders,
I was well fed with the helpings of the beating which I received.
I was well fed with the helpings of the beating which I received.
Like river Niger in the rainy season,
Tears overflowed from my eyes as I made my way towards the classroom.
Tears overflowed from my eyes as I made my way towards the classroom.
A sight so pitiful that my crush (name withheld) told me kpele (sorry) for the first time ever.
In discomfort, I battled through the maths period.
For the pains I felt on my buttocks made it nearly impossible to seat on my wooden locker seat.
For the pains I felt on my buttocks made it nearly impossible to seat on my wooden locker seat.
The maths lessons did not go accordingly well also.
A tale I would share in later posts.
#BASHORUN
A tale I would share in later posts.
#BASHORUN
